My heart broke at Mooseheart

I was at Jodee's presentation at Mooseheart on Tuesday November 2, 2010. I don't know if she would even know who I was except for being probablly the only one in the room sobbing to the point where it was getting hard to breath.

Just the day before, I recieved a heart renching call from my 11 year old son's school, asking me to please come in because there where some texts on my son's phone that we needed to discuss. My heart sunk to my feet, I felt anxious and couldn't even think straight. Of course I went right over.

I met with the school phycologist and social worker, who explained to me that my son had been texting a girl asking her to please go out with him. As he paused I was sort of releaved to know it was something I could nip in the bud, and then he said, but there is more. Oh my God, more? I took a deap breath and waited for the other shoe to drop. He showed my the texts that my son had on his phone, the last entry was, "plz plz say yes, or i wil kil myslf." I wanted to die, I couldn't believe what I was reading or what they were saying to me. I felt nothing, something, I couldn't really grasp it at first.

Then they started to ask all kinds of questions about him, has he had any truouble at home? Is anyone going through any kind of depression? Is he bullied in or outside of school? !!!!!!!! That's when my heart broke! I was putting things together that didn't really seem like big deals before.

My son is the smallest kid in his school. He is not even 4 feet yet and weighs only 53 lbs., he has been bullied, harrassed, picked on, pushed, punched, and called names for the last few months. And I thought I was handleing it. Boy, was I wrong.

The school and I talked and have made arrangements for him to speak with the school social worker, and I'm looking into an outside sourse to help him. And hopefully me too.

Everything that Jodee was saying yesturday was hitting me like huge bricks being thrown from 10 stories up. I couldn't keep my eyes off of her the entire time, but I also couldn't wait to leave. I wanted to stop and get her book, but I couldn't keep myself together. After I left the building, I got in my car and drove home, I don't even remember driving. All I could think about was what she was saying and how I had probably handled it all wrong.

I wanted nothing more than to remember what she told everyone, how do I handle this? I couldn't remember.

Today I am going to buy the book, I am hoping that it is not to late to save my son, my self. I too was bullied as a child, along with many other things.

I want to thank Jodee, from the bottom of my heart for sharing her story and her wisdom, she was exactly what I needed. She said all the right things, she touched my heart like no one has as far back as I can remember.

You are truley an inspiration to many.

Thank you,

Camille