Cyber & School Bullying
Still Surviving...
Hello Everyone,
I am only partway though 'Please Stop Laughing at Me' an already I can relate. This story could be my own. From parents and teachers who blamed it on me, and thought something was wrong with me to abuse both physical and verbal. I was spit on, punched, kicked, had things thrown at me, had my possessions stolen and broken, and things thown at me. Once on the bus ride to school someone smuched a rotting orange from the floor into my face. I too was different and to this day many refer to me as eccentric and while I love who I am my past is still a struggle.
Emotionally, I am timid and self consious and extremely shy. I am always second guessing myself and have a really difficult time holding up a conversation. My parents told me to ignore everyone and it was years before I took that advice. I would act out by yelling or hitting back and would wind up the one in trouble. Teachers never punished my tormentors. When I eventually learned to ignore and that became second nature to me. I kept to myself and now I have to force myself to interact with those around me.
The way I was treated lead to low-self esteem, depression, anxiety, and lonliness which I am still fighting today. I am constantly worrying about what people think of me. I had thoughts of suicide and could never understand why everyone was so mean when I was nothing but nice.
My life is good today I have an amazing fiance who is helping me to realise how wonderful I am and how much I have to offer. But when I think of what I went though I feel angry at the adults in my life who did nothing to help and put the blame on me. I never tried to be anything but myself and thats no reason to be teased.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Greg Haefs on -
Jessica,
You've come to the right place if you are looking for people who share similar pasts and similar struggles. I was pretty much the same way growing up, and so were many of the adults in my life. Those were the dark ages when nobody seemed to know how to deal with bullying, including and especially me.
The past is what it is, and nothing and nobody can change it. We can only change how we view it, or how much it comes into play during our present-day lives. First of all, be willing to forgive yourself. Forgive yourself for any mistakes you made, and remember that it is not your fault that you were bullied. Each instance of bullying started with the bully choosing to pick on you.
Be willing to forgive those who tormented you if you ever see them again; they were young and foolish and are most likely not the same horrible people they were back then. Some of them probably remember how they treated you and feel guilty about it. Be also willing to forgive your parents, teachers, and other adults who had no clue how to deal with bullies, probably because they never had to deal with them themselves. Forgiveness is not optional for us who wish to heal emotionally.
Also, you do not need to stay in the shell of timidity. Be yourself and do not try to please everyone. Nobody can do that. I don't know how you are in social settings, but please do not be afraid. Not many adults are nearly as mean as those bullies who picked on you in school, and if any of them turn out to be mean, ditch them. They are not worthy of your friendship.
Congrats on your upcoming marriage; I am sure that will be such a happy day for you! We all need people who understand us and can help us see the good in ourselves and in other people. I hope you have a great marriage that goes a long way in helping you heal emotionally and in blossoming personally.
I hope this helps and encourages you.
Greg
More Resources
JodeeBlanco.com
National Suicide Prevention Hotline
- 1.800.SUICIDE
- suicidehotlines.com
The Blue Pages of your local phone book is one of the most comprehensive resources available with regional and national crisis hotlines, as well as self-help organizations and support groups in your local area.
KidsPeace National Center for Kids Overcoming Crises
- General Web site: www.kidspeace.org
- Teen Web Site: www.teencentral.net
- Crisis hotline: 1.800.334.4543
Social Shield
Social Shield is a service that helps parents keep their children safe on social networking sites.
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