Name calling

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Permalink Reply by Holly on October 28, 2010 at 5:33pm

Hi Jordan,

Sometimes school really stinks! You have to go but you can't choose who goes with you.....You have to tell someone you trust! I don't know if you have a social worker at your school. Sometimes what I do ( I am a teacher) is try to "catch" the bully in the act. What I mean is sometimes students tell me where it usually takes place (lunch room ) and I happen to over hear the conversation.

Have you told your parents?

Who are the friends you are loosing? Are they the kids who make fun of you? I wonder if they are friends worth having? I promice this will not last forever! It is a horrible thing to go through and I wish I had an easy answer for you but I don't. Good luck to you and let us know how things are going!

You are not alone!

Hilary

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Permalink Reply by David J on November 14, 2010 at 11:58pm

Hi Jordan,
I read where you wrote in another post that you have started telling on the people who are doing the name calling and I commend you for that. I hope that the school is giving you the support you deserve. Many times people continue with bad behavior because they feel they can get away with it. By telling on them it makes is so they can't get away with it. By telling you are also helping to prevent a homophobic gay-bashing atmosphere in school.

Sometimes it helps having an effective comeback When I was growing up one of the standard comebacks we used when someone was called a name was "it takes one to know one" or "when you point the finger, there are are four pointing right back at you" . Sometimes the most effective response is the straightforward one "Stop calling me names, it's mean,and I don't like it". Then there are times when being silent and ignoring the name callers is the best option. This is not to recommend what to say but just to show that you can come up with options and you don't have to feel helpless to respond.

The best advice I could give you is just be the best person you can be, in everything you do try to excel. And try to help others when they need it. This will not only help you feel better about yourself, people will look up to you and admire you. People will get to know you for the things you for who you are and what you are good at it (not from what they have heard from people's name calling).

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Permalink Reply by Sam Kreitzberg on July 23, 2011 at 3:33pm

I'm going into high school and have been called fat, gay, rodent I think I know what you are going through

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Permalink Reply by Greg Haefs on August 22, 2011 at 6:33pm

Hi Jordan,

 

Have things gotten any better for you since you posted this message?  I'm sorry I did not see this until now.

 

My heart really goes out to you and all students who are being or have been bullied unmercifully by bullies who choose to be mean or evil.  I'm sure the whole ordeal has been depressing for you, since it is hard to lose a friend, let alone several.  I hope this new school year will be better than the last three or four have been for you, and that you have or will find friends who stay with you through good and bad times.

 

I also know what it's like to be bullied day after day after day, every hour of every day, for years on end by bullies and bully gangs.  I also know what it's like to be lied about by bullies, and for other students to believe them.  There are some things I'd like to say, and hopefully they will be encouraging to you:  lies are still lies even when everyone believes them.  If popular belief make things true, then the world would be flat just from people having once believed that.  Doesn't that sound absurd?  Guess what?  All the lies about you are just as absurd.

 

Also, bullies just call people gay whether they are homosexual or not, and they don't bother to try to find out if it's true.  They did that back in my day too.  It's as if they can't figure out any other name to call people, so they just call them gay out of lack of creativity and imagination.  They also just run with any rumor they think of without getting facts straight because that way they don't have to actually do any work.  That's why I say "bull" is half of "bullying", and "lying" is the other half.

 

Remember, how bullies treat you does not in any way reflect on you; it reflects on the bullies.  It does not make you a worse person; it only makes the bullies worse.

 

Hopefully these bullies at your school will accept my challenge to them (and all bullies in America) to resolve that they quit bullying cold turkey this year.  My challenge is spelled out on this forum.  If they don't accept, then take Jodee's advice, be assertive, be calm, and look them in the eye (with no fear) and tell them to stop.  Value close friends, and do your best this school year.  Better days will come to you just like they came to me, if you do not give up.

 

Here's hoping you have a vastly improved school year!

 

Greg

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